Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
