We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
