I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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