I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The air taste purple.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
