its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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