At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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