so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize