you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize