I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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