I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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