What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
