Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
