I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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