"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
