yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
