You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
