oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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