what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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