Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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