I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
