Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize