the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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