i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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