I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
