that's an acceptable place to lick
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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