Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
