Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...

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  (207): Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today. (1-207): I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population... http://tfl.nu/tclz
  Replies (96) Good night (3681) Bad night (930)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

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  (206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache http://tfl.nu/qh4z
  Replies (23) Good night (4496) Bad night (1223)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat

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  (615): i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat http://tfl.nu/x2jk
  Replies (30) Good night (6049) Bad night (1317)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.

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  (847): She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing. http://tfl.nu/qwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2174) Bad night (4312)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.

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  (724): the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience. http://tfl.nu/dazo
  Replies (12) Good night (812) Bad night (4279)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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  (774): and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date. http://tfl.nu/kedp
  Replies (15) Good night (3310) Bad night (874)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am

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  (240): seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am http://tfl.nu/z6p6
  Replies (7) Good night (2687) Bad night (917)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

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  (402): Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. http://tfl.nu/z0q7
  Replies (9) Good night (4358) Bad night (867)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.

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  (541): Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either. http://tfl.nu/a1p0
  Replies (9) Good night (1985) Bad night (716)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety

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  (931): Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety http://tfl.nu/hne4
  Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (615)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah

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  (479): I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah http://tfl.nu/ef97
  Replies (9) Good night (1676) Bad night (591)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.

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  (425): Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it. http://tfl.nu/epgz
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (1277)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".

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  (678): After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box". http://tfl.nu/z4mv
  Replies (5) Good night (1505) Bad night (452)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget

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  (610): So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget http://tfl.nu/3geu
  Replies (2) Good night (526) Bad night (568)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.

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  (610): My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night. http://tfl.nu/dw42
  Replies (0) Good night (238) Bad night (383)

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