I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dating After Heartbreak
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like