i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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