Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.