every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?