It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?