i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
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He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
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So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.