No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
