Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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