Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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