yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize