If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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