Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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