She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
