i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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