My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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