There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
