I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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