i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
