can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize