the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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