I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
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Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
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I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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