If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
