just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
