i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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