obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
