a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
