Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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