"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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