3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
