Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
