And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
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So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
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you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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