I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
