There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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