i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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